What a curious time of year this has proved to be for me over the years. Today I saw on facebook the wedding anniversary of two of my friends. Sixteen years it's been. I missed their wedding because I wrote off my car and had whiplash. On the same day as I wrote off the car, I got the keys to my house - the home I shared with Dave from 20th May 2000 until his death in 2005.
Three years later in May 2003 I got married.
Fast Forward to 2012 and I met my current fella 20th May.
And every single year I still send my mother in law flowers for her birthday, always with a twinge of sadness because she lost her son and he can't send her a present, or a card, or visit as he used to, and my meagre offering, a symbol of affection and caring is all I can do.
This year is also proving distressing, firstly for reasons I can't quite put into words relating to an old friend, secondly tomorrow's endoscopy which is quietly concerning me. It's like a rite of passage into a stage of life where medical procedures begin ...