Velvet Sky

It's been an admin fest with me trying to pull together loose ends for my travels.  I'm getting impatient at myself and a certain amount of sluggishness.  Which is OK, it's just a gentle push to get myself moving again.  I've now paid for 80% of the van, just a small sum to go which is due on delivery.  Work has now officially started on the conversion, and yes it's exciting but also scary.

Guinea pig re-homing is now thankfully less of a albatross around my neck, thanks to the fortune of kind friends, or indeed people I see as an adopted family are prepared to go beyond the call of duty.  To say I'm grateful is an under statement.  I feel loved.

I come and go between being relaxed about finances and having a slight wibble.  The lovely climbing Carl gave me advice on this. He said to decide on a sum below which you didn't want to drop, and when you get near it to turn your mind back to work.  Which makes sense, and I think I know the number.  It's just a freakish amount trickles between my fingers now.  Van.  Van insurance. New Zealand flights.  And really it's all fine, it's fine, I shouldn't be letting the slightest bit of agitation affect me.  It's a no brainer in that I know, absolutely, without doubt, and with total confidence that this is right for me, it's what I want to do.  But the voices inside my head are those of my parents, the long departed dad and my very much with us mum.  Because all their lives they had to be careful with money.  There were no luxuries, nothing that wasn't carefully thought out, it was a make do and mend, a scrimp and save lifestyle and they brought us up to be the same.  And I remember being on free school meals, dressed in pass me down clothes, and sharing my third hand bike with my brother.  I remember when entertainment was free, and holidays were spent in the back garden at play.  And this is why I wibble, why sometimes there's a little feeling of wrong, despite the over riding sense of right.

And it's due to be sunny on Sunday, and we all know what that means ...

And today's romantic ballard is one of my all time favourites from Savage Garden.  Many years of dreams and joy here, and it needs to travel with me as I embark on this journey.  A song which makes me want to climb mountains, and to frolic in the waves.  If that isn't too entirely fey.

"And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry"