Saturday 13 October 2012

Only way ...

The only way is up ...

So left to my own devices after departing the company of Alan & Lilian, I did what every rational person would do … and followed the weather. Actually the weather forecast was appalling for pretty much everywhere, but I did my best.

Sunday night I headed north, surprised as I was to find there was much north left in the UK. But yes there was and I parked up in a layby somewhere near to the Kyle of Sutherland mountain bike trails. Unsurprisingly then, the Monday morning saw me keen and early out on the trails, well, after a now obligatory amount of faff. In a fit of brave, because somehow I really do want to improve on the bike, I went for the black run. It wasn't an ill informed decision, reading up on the topic had revealed some experienced folk felt it was somewhere between black and red. Excellent. Do-able. The track had some uphill, but frankly since the Pyrenees, no amount of up feels either steep or lengthy right now, but it was also a slabby bouldery mecca. For those who like that kind of thing. Which possibly isn't quite me. Anyway, I did a lap of the black and I didn't die, even though I walked maybe 30% of it, and repeated several sections. Most of the trouble I had was picking the right line across the boulders, and keeping enough momentum so that when large gaps appeared between rocks the wheels went over it instead of grinding to a rather sudden and in my view unnecessary stop. I was encouraged enough that I did the trail a second time and fared much much better on how much of it I actually rode. Still feel that somehow I didn't do enough riding, and sadly I won't be on the bike again for a bit. I miss not being on the bike, and also I worry that when I do get back on I will have lost all fitness and ability. I really am desperate to make the cycling work for me, mostly because I am so fed up with being at the back of groups panting like a steam train when others haven't even had to open their mouths or build up a sweat. I resent time not on the bike in an odd way, yet lack the discipline to do more.

Monday night I drove into the Assynt area, and was stopped in my tracks by the sight of the hills. An evening read up told me the hills which were singing to me so loudly were Stac Pollaidh and Suilven. Both looked intimidatingly huge and steep and unachievable, and both terrified me with the thought of walking up them, particularly alone. I guess it is a year of being brave for me. I really am so scared sometimes of the prospect of things like this that maybe I should be at home knitting and drinking cocoa and stop trying to pretend to be something I'm not. Or am I? I really don't know why I do what I do because I spend so much of the time in fear that it's hard to see how sometimes it qualifies as fun. I'm guessing it's more about keeping the endorphins high and holding at bay the horrible feeling I live with when I don't exercise.

So Tuesday in the interest of facing my fears I walked Stac Pollaidh. It was ridiculously easy, particularly in route finding terms. The path pretty much a “tourist” trail, upgraded with slabby rocks and impossible to lose your way on. There's a massive discouragement to straying from the path too as the mountain has unbelievably (believably) become damaged by the footfall and it's there to protect it. Bless it. Two and a half hours I was back at the van thinking “is that it?” along with “what do I do with the rest of the day?”. Somehow the answer was prepare for the next day.

Wednesday morning then saw me prepared and ready. I had a map, I knew the route and had packed the 50litre rucksack with as little as I thought I needed. It had sleeping bag, thermarest, tent, water, a filtration bottle, stove, saucepan, carefully measured pasta, one person pasta sauce pouch, mug, spoon, gas bottle, toothbrush and toothpaste, first aid kit, and dry layers too. I was climbing Suilven, oh yes, that's what I was about to do ...

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