Travelling alone I
really miss conversation. I miss human interaction. I know this,
have always known that I have this need to feel a connection. It's
not a new thing, and it's not that I have become rabidly bonkers when
I only left friends this morning. It's just something inevitable
with me. Don't get me wrong, I am comfortable with my own company in
many ways, I can even spend days in silence without radio or music.
But I do crave intimacy with the world. Which is what the internet
is there for. Stopping me from going insane bonkers I guess.
Actually, it's not just
conversation I miss. It is the intimacy, the having a friend or a
partner to talk to at the end of the day, not just to tell them what
you did, but what you thought, and to know what they thought too, to
connect with them. There are multiple people in my life who I have
that interaction with. What would this trip be like for two? Apart
from cramped of course. Actually, there would be both pluses and
minuses. Could I pee in a bucket with a partner on board. Would we
trip over each other and the bikes, I suspect so, yes. Would the
feeling of freedom and the no need to make a decision until I'm
behind the wheel disappear? I don't think it would. I think with
someone with similar ability to go with the flow, roll with the
punches, it would flow, and in fact, there would be more ideas to
choose from, synergy and all that management speak I guess.
Anyway, I have pay as
you go internet, which is good. Thank you Orange France, you have
added to my trip's feeling of fun. Feeling of fun. Hmm.
Work for years had the
philosophy whenever a request was made of us to sit back and say
“will this win us a medal?” It gave complete clarity in how to
prioritise and how to decide on how far to take things and respond to
requests both external and internal. I don't have an equivalent now.
Which I find weird. Do I need a sense of purpose in order to make
decisions, I wonder. Is purpose needed? Maybe not in everybody's
life, and the real question is, is it needed in mine? I've never
been goal driven. I'm working on a decision making question, and am
getting somewhere near. The question at the moment is something
along the lines of “does this have the potential to enhance the
likelihood of fun?” It's clunky and it's not quite right. Can't
use happiness as you can't tell what's going to make you happy, daft
old concept thinking you can, but fun can lead in that direction more
likely than not fun things can anyway. Is it fun? Hmm. Maybe …
And no song today
because I have been listening to French radio in an attempt to bring
my French speaking and more importantly listening up to speed.
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